The Turd Race:

The brothers and I were standing over a PVC pipe which jutted above the ground, in the pasture just across the road east of my home. The pipe had been broken open, presumably by a horse hoof. Within, it was mostly dry, but there were occasional surges of flow, as toilet water made it’s way out to the distant septic tank. S1 was incited beyond his usual level of excitement. “Sometimes, when people poop, you can see it float by!” B1 voiced some measure of disbelief, which resulted in S1 promising to prove it. B1 and I waited while S1 ran home and attempted to recreate the event he found so enthralling. Suddenly, he came running out of his home and down the road toward us. He must have put everything he had into that sprint, because he arrived quickly, and out of breath. “Did you see it? Did you see my turd?” he asked in anticipation. “We didn’t see it.” B1 told his younger brother. Then again, we weren’t exactly keeping a close watch.